Yes, I've Lost My Mind
by icaughtfire
Summary: Spencer likes Ashley. Ashley likes Spencer. Wonderfully femslashy Spashley fic. oneshot


**Disclaimer: I don't own South of Nowhere, or the characters, because god hates me. **

**Author's Note: My first attempt at a South of Nowhere fic, and I'm terrified. It's such a wonderful show and I'm afraid to taint the wonderfulness of it. But here is my attempt at a well-written story.**

Spencer lifted her fork absentmindedly to her mouth, taking a bite of spaghetti. She was lost in her own thoughts at the moment. She'd been confused probably more than she had ever been since moving to LA, but the confusion was part of something better. If she hadn't moved, then she wouldn't have met Ashley, the root of all her confusion. Ashley was beautiful, and exotic in a way. She was spontaneous, and not afraid to speak her mind. That's what Spencer liked about her. But there was still a lot of mystery surrounding Ashley. She didn't know all that much about her, and she knew even less about how she herself felt about the other girl.

Questions began forming in Spencer's mind only a few days after meeting her. Questions like _"is this normal?"_ and _"do I REALLY like girls?"_ It was a bit much to take, and she was having trouble thinking of anything else. It kept gnawing at her, because she was desperate for an answer.

"Spencer?" Her mother's voice interrupted her thoughts. Spencer looked up from her plate, gazing at her mother. "What?" She asked, slightly annoyed.

"Are you alright?" She questioned with a motherly tone in her voice. Spencer nodded, brushing a piece of her hair out of her eyes.  
"I'm fine." Spencer replied with a forced smile. "My head just hurts a little. I think I'm going to go upstairs and lie down for a bit."

"There's something going on with her, I can tell." Glenn said suspiciously, shooting his sister a curious glance. He was such an ass. Of course there was something going on, but he didn't need to blatantly point it out to her parents. She had enough to worry about without wondering if her parents were going to find out about her sexual questioning. She rolled her eyes, making her way upstairs. Her head really was hurting, what with all the thoughts swirling around in there. She grabbed an aspirin and swallowed it, lying down on her bed. Spencer's eyes closed lazily, but snapped open again when she heard a tapping on her window. Spencer jumped up from bed, instantly looking at the window, to see what had made the noise.

It was Ashley. A look of surprise came across Spencer's face as she opened the window, letting Ashley in. Ashley wore a grin, eyes sparkling.

"Why, hello." Ashley said in a deep voice, raising a brow. She definitely had a thing for Spencer. A need to be with her and hold her. That was partially because Spencer looked so…innocent. She looked like she needed someone to take care of her, and Ashley wanted to be that someone. She realized it the first time she ever laid eyes on her, except she was too overwhelmed at the time. That was why Ashley reintroduced herself later that same day. Now she was glad she did. She wasn't sure Spencer felt anything for her, but she knew that the other girl made her entire body hum. Being around her was a constant bolt of electricity, and this time wasn't any different. Ashley tried to keep her cool, but she could feel her cheeks burning. Maybe Spencer wouldn't notice.

And she didn't. She was too preoccupied with trying not so seem overly excited about Ashley's arrival. Spencer let her face relax into a smile. "Hello, yourself. What brings you here, at my house, tapping on my window, at this late hour?" She questioned. Ashley looked shocked.  
"This 'late' hour? Are you kidding? It's six thirty!" She let herself drop backward onto Spencer's bed. For some reason it was far more comfortable than her own bed was. Spencer sat down on the bed, gazing down at her friend eagerly. Her stomach began to hurt, and she didn't think it was because she was sick. She was nervous, and she wasn't sure why, at least not consciously. Subconsciously, however, she was well aware of her liking for Ashley. If only her subconscious and her conscious would get together and have tea, maybe she'd realize what she was feeling. But no, she was clueless.

"Seriously, though. What made you decide you wanted to come to my house? Did you miss me?" Spencer said this last part jokingly, but she was hoping for a 'yes'. She'd definitely missed Ashley. She was her best friend, already. It was surprising how close they'd gotten in just a week or so. Spencer brushed these thoughts away as she heard Ashley's answer.

"I was desperate to get out of the house. Mom and the new boyfriend were making all kinds of vulgar noises. I swear, they could at least wait until nighttime, when normal people do it." Ashley answered with a hint of annoyance in her voice. That wasn't the only reason she came to see Spencer. She HAD missed her, a lot. Not just talking to her, but everything about her. Ashley had missed the girl's scent of rich mahogany, the softness of her hair, and the way she felt when Spencer's hand brushed up against her own. It was incomparable to anything.

"Oh. Well, that's…disgusting, actually. Thanks for the visual," Spencer joked, stretching out and lying beside of her friend, staring up at the blank ceiling. She sighed lightly, closing her eyes. "So, how are you?" She asked, making conversation. Ashley shrugged in reply, her own eyes fluttering shut. She moved closer to Spencer, running her fingers gently along the brunette's palm.

Spencer was silent as her stomach twisted into a knot. She felt her face burn deep scarlet, and she clenched her teeth, not wanting to pull away from Ashley's touch, but at the same time, not wanting to grab her hand. So she did nothing. Ashley grinned playfully, taking her hand away, wanting to see Spencer's reaction. Spencer opened her eyes, at the same time Ashley did. Both girls laughed nervously.

Ashley sat up, pulling herself into a cross-legged position facing Spencer. Spencer did the same. She was starting to feel uncomfortable, and she wasn't sure what to say. Maybe she was confused about how she felt simply because Ashley had planted that seed of doubt in her mind. If Ashley weren't a lesbian, Spencer probably wouldn't be wondering if she herself was. That was the logical explanation, which meant Spencer wasn't gay. There was one problem. She wasn't just wondering if she was gay, she was also wondering what it would be like to kiss her, and how wonderful it would be to feel Ashley's skin against her own. But Spencer tried to push these thoughts away.

"You're so pretty," Ashley complimented, letting her hand fall to Spencer's knee. Spencer shivered in response, then blushed. "Thank you." Spencer thanked her, getting flustered. She hated it when she got that way, but Ashley thought it was absolutely adorable.

"You're welcome." She said, bringing her hand up a little higher now, so it was resting on Spencer's warm thigh. She was testing her limits, and so far there weren't any. Maybe Spencer was too nervous to say anything. Ashley cleared her throat, picking up her hand and crossing her arms. "Okay, enough of this. Spencer, I gotta be straight with you," She chuckled at her accidental pun. "I like you. A whole freakin' lot." Spencer's eyebrows shot up in surprise. She was speechless. At that moment she realized that she felt the same way. She just had to open her mouth and say it. "Wow," Spencer said breathlessly. "I like you too?" When she said it, it came out like a question, not the way she was intending. "I mean, I like you too." She repeated.

Now it was Ashley's turn to be surprised. She wasn't expecting her feelings to be reciprocated. But before she could ponder any further, she felt Spencer's lips brush past her own in one bold move. The kiss lasted only a few seconds, and when it ended, Ashley found herself shaking. She had to keep her cool. She NEVER got like this. The only other time she'd been so unsure and afraid was her first time with a girl, and this definitely wasn't her first time. So why was she so nervous? Spencer was different, that was why. That had to be it.

Neither girl was ready to take it any further than that. Ashley got up, trying not to look Spencer in the eye. "I'll see you around." She said a little too casually, practically jumping out the window.


End file.
